my WHY, five BENEFITS of competing

She is confident, but gentle, fearless, brave and bold. Everything I wish I WAS and everything I want to BE. She is four years old, she’s a “title holder”, and she’s MY daughter. I remember the first time she stepped on stage, my heart was pounding standing next to her. Then she looked at me, there was a sparkle in her eye, a look that told me she’s got this. JOY filled my heart and we never looked back and this is MY why.


My daughter, a four year old, is learning these skills because at four she is already expected to INTERVIEW.

Sitting across from you is your biggest opportunity and all that stands between you and your dream is ONE interview.

Fact: “In a survey of 22- to 26-year-old college graduates by Adecco, a staffing and recruiting company, 8 percent reported that a parent accompanied them on at least one job interview, and 3 percent said a parent actively joined the interview.” 

After graduation, 44% of college graduates are either unemployed or underemployed, according to recent surveys. And you might ask WHY, they are smart and educated BUT they still can’t get the job. WHY, because communicating, looking at someone when speaking, presenting yourself without selling yourself, are ALL things you learn.

You learn by DOING, by making mistakes and trying again. Simple, basic LIFE skills that many today have learned by Googling “how to” doesn’t work. LIFE skills are taught by LIFE experiences. If those graduating college have never been taught HOW to interview how can we expect them to know.

A FAMILY Be a Family

One after another they float across the stage, grace and beauty exudes from within them. You would never know that backstage it was just chaos. Everyone rushing to get into that next outfit, making sure their hair and makeup was perfect. BUT amongst the chaos, if you look closely, you will see friends helping friends, you will see women from all walks of life lifting each other up, encouraging each other to be AMAZING.

“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” 1 Peter 3:8 

The Miss United States, Miss America, Miss USA, and Miss International if you look closely, when the FINAL two are standing on stage you will see them holding hands, each one speaking words of encouragement to each other. They are more than competitors, they are friends, they are family.


A giving heart, something I’m always working on; everyday I try to find one nice thing, one thing to help a stranger, to show someone that people care. It’s something I teach my children. Community service is not only encouraged when you compete in pageants, it is part of the application process and in some systems included as part of your final score.

 Do not keep good from those who should have it, when it is in your power to do it.” Proverbs 3:27

Community service and giving back are not new concepts, they have always been there and have been a part of pageantry since the start. When you become a “Title Holder” you are not just encouraged, but required to have a platform.

Definition: “A body of principles on which a person or group takes a stand in appealing to the public; program. 

This can be anything that you are passionate about, it can be something that you have a personal connection to or something that simply touches your heart. There are so many who truly have a giving heart, it has touched my heart. They are GIVING back and making a DIFFERENCE.


Being confident doesn’t comes naturally to everyone. As you grow older, and you become more self aware, confidence is one of the first things to go. When you FIRST begin to see the world for what it is, as Adam and Eve took a bite of the apple and saw that they were naked, your confidence FALTERS.

“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Genesis 3:7 

My daughter will grow up and her innocence will fade. My prayer is that she will have learned to be confident in WHO she is. To be able to speak to those around her and know that what she has to say matters. At the same time she will learn to do so without YELLING. There is beauty in confidence; being comfortable with who you ARE. It inspires those around them, while lifting others up. It is QUIET and LOUD; humble BUT bold.  Every time they walk on stage they inspire me, they lift me up without knowing me, all because they are confident, beautiful women.


A leader, someone that inspires, they are more than just a “Beauty Queen”, they are doctors, lawyers, community service activists, and moms; they are ROLE MODELS. As I watch my daughter grow, I look at those around us, each one has an impact on WHO she will become and WHAT she will aspire to be. She will look to me to guide her and teach her and I will look to others to SHOW her.

Being able to watch as these young women put their heart on stage and stand out is inspiring. It is breathtaking to watch as they conquer their fears and “climb the tree”. Everything I want in a role model and ONE day it will be HER turn, she will be the one to inspire those who are younger.

So what is your WHY? Tell me the WHAT and your WHY.

21 thoughts on “my WHY, five BENEFITS of competing

  1. I believe in teaching our kids community service too….my friend enrolled in this Starbucks program with her kid to help feed the poor with the Starbucks food that they can’t keep overnight but are still good for consumption. It reduced wastage and its so meaningful!

  2. How precious! I love that you are sharing your experience. It’s good to know that a child gain a lot from joining pageants, confidence is a valuable one! –

  3. maria criselda maquiling says:

    thank you for sharing all the positive things about competing in pageants for young kids. usually there is a bad stigma around it but knowing all these positive things about it is a definite eye opener. you definitely have my support

  4. These are great! There are people who look at those in pageants as fluff. It’s really not. My cousin is in them. Made 2nd runner up for her state, and won the swimsuit competition. She says she loves doing it because it builds up her confidence. Gives her great public speaking skills.

  5. I never really considerd the benefits of pageantry, probably because I don’t have any children but you make some good points especially about learning to communicate and community service. I’ve been a youth coach for my nephews and these are things we always worked on as a team. Pageantry seems to be a big team.

  6. Stephenie -Blended Life Happy Wife says:

    I guess we really do have to prepare out children early. Doing community service is something everyone should do

  7. This was such a great post. I’ve never looked at things from this perspective so it was interesting to read. Congratulations to your daughter for placing. Thanks for the share 🙂

  8. I loved this post. Very informative but the beginning was lovely. I’ve never allowed my parents to attend interviews with, nor did they want to. My dad taught me early the tools I would need to make it in this world as a successful adult. I was put in a lot of situations that helped me build my self confidence. I hope to provide my children with this same insightful wisdom.

  9. Its important that kids know they are a part of a community with responsibilities and obligations from an early age. And sh his learning that through something she enjoys doing which is an added benefit.

  10. Thank you for breaking down what pageants are really about! I participated in one during elementary school, high school, and college. There’s so much that goes into it, but people only put emphasis on the beauty and popularity part. I think that is what drove me away from from consistently participating in them. I also believe that it is why people don’t see pageants as anything of importance.

    I’m sure you already know this, but you’re going a great job with ensuring that she understands the bigger and important things about pageants that seem to greet ignored

    • A Pageant Mom says:

      Thank You for your kinds words and I hope maybe you will consider trying one again, they are definatly worth every moment!

  11. A healthy dose of competition is important I believe. I remember being in marching band and colorguard for the most part of middle school and high school and it taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

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